Self Reflection

            “You didn’t like my picture on Facebook!” I told my cousin one day, referencing a picture of my acceptance to an Italian University, feeling like she did not care about my accomplishment.  “Do you really care if I like your pictures?” she confusedly replied.  To her, Facebook is simply a communication tool.  I saw Facebook as just a communication tool too, or at least I thought I did.  Why did I care if she publicly liked my accomplishment when she already told me how she was proud of me in ‘real life’.  When did my self worth become tied into this profile?  My Facebook profile should be a superficial reflection of me at best, just enough that I can be recognized as myself when communicating with others.  Having this profile though, especially at a time where popular culture has amplified the appeal of and desire for physical beauty, has caused a change in my brain chemistry that makes me concern myself over how this superficial reflection makes me look.

            Reading the chapter on narcissism in Rosen’s iDisorder ‘Media Starts with “Me”, I had a shocking revelation.  I am a huge narcissist.  I already knew that I was mildly narcissistic, but I did not realize it was to this extent.  I scour my photos for the perfect profile picture.  I ‘untag’ myself in pictures where I do not look good.  I try to perfect this superficial reflection, this profile that others identify as me.  Why do I do this?  Is it because it’s easier to change my portrayal on the Internet than it is to change myself in real life?

            I’m still reflecting on this, but do y’all have any thoughts on the subject?  Do y’all find yourselves doing the same things?